Mormon Marriage Misconceptions

Since I write about everything that is happening in the life at the moment, I am again writing about my fiance and engagement. I know, I know, some of you are probably thinking, "Does this girl ever shut up about getting married?" And the answer to that is, you obviously want to hear it because you are reading my post. No this post isn't going to be about how I have the best fiance, or how my wedding is going to be so pretty and perfect. While I do think the fiance part of those things, this post isn't one about bragging. Instead it's going to be a vent sesh, like everything else.


My name is Megan, I live in Cache Valley, aka the Mormon capital of the WORLD. And, yes, I am engaged at 21. What is the first thing people ask when they see a pretty rock on your finger? Maybe it goes something like this, "So, how long have you know each other?" "How'd you meet?" "When are you getting married?" All harmless questions. Then one comes up that you don't know how to take, "Which temple are you getting married in?" BAM, and that is the question of the century in Cache Valley.

I am an engaged member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I am not getting married in the temple.

 No it's not because I "messed up" and am pregnant. Which, disclaimer, I think it's awful to say that to anybody who gets pregnant out of wedlock, a baby is never a mistake. No, it's not because I don't believe in the church. No, it's not because I am losing faith in God and the church. No, it's not because I want to mess around and not follow the commandments. These are ALL huge misconceptions and unfair judgments that we often pass onto people if we feel like they aren't making the right choices or decisions.

It's simply because I AM NOT READY. And it's a huge decision, I want to make sure that I am ready for that huge responsibility.

Please don't get me wrong, I LOVE the church and I love the temple as well. But the temple isn't the right place for me in my life right at this moment. And that's OK! Dorian and I have had so many heart to heart talks on this topic. I have had many late nights talking and pleading with my Heavenly Father about this decision. And you know what? He still loves me,and it takes a big person to admit that they aren't ready. Even though I am not going to the temple right now, it doesn't mean that it isn't our ultimate goal. The temple offers so many wonderful blessings that I can't even begin to comprehend or to understand because I am not at that point in my life yet.

Ever since we got in a serious relationship we have had the goal of the temple. Fun fact, we actually got engaged at the Logan Temple, because that is where we are going to start our engagement and actually get sealed next year in that same temple.

So much love has come up from our engagement and encouraging words from family and loved ones as well as a few hurtful things. But, you know what, that's okay. Planning a wedding comes with people questioning most of your choices and decisions. My tip for anyone planning a wedding is to let things just roll off your shoulders. When someone says something like, "Out of everyone, why isn't Megan getting married in the temple?" *true story* JUST LET IT GO! They don't know your heart. They don't know your relationship with Heavenly Father, and they don't know your story. Don't let them get to you. I have had the hardest time learning this. I have had countless phone calls with my best friend/cousin about how hard it is to be judged when this is supposed to be the happiest time in your life. And you know what she told me? "Don't even listen to it. You know your why, you know that God loves you, and you know that the love that you and Dorian has is real. This is your day, and just because you aren't getting married in the temple doesn't mean that your marriage is any less then theirs." That totally stuck with me and I thought I needed to write this post to prove to everyone that just because I didn't follow exactly, the so called, "Mormon timeline." My marriage is still going to beautiful and not any less then anyone else's.

So friends I am writing this in hopes that we end the judging culture. That we can just be happy and excited for people when they are happy and excited about life. I am not judging people who get married in the temple, I think it's wonderful. And I am not judging people who don't get married in the temple. Love is such a wonderful thing, and it should be celebrated in all walks of life. So instead of judging, let's love. Let us all remember that we don't know what is in anyones heart or their relationships with God, and guess what? It's really none of our business. Instead of judging lets look inside of ourselves and be happy for others, for once, instead of being so shocked that they didn't meet our expectations for them.

Thanks for reading! Love, love, love you all!