love NOW

Hey all you beauties! It's been a hot little minute since I've written some awe-inpsiring words. Ha, I want you to know that I am using soooooo much sarcasm in that last sentence. I honestly just write what I feel, and that's just what happens. Take what you will out of it. So, as a person lately I've been a hot mess, and I feel like I have nothing in my life together.

Do you ever remember being a kid and thinking life is going to be so much better when I'm an adult. When I can eat icecream anytime I want (heck, let's be real that's the BEST thing about adulthood), when I don't have to go to school everyday, or deal with Algebra homework (because that was the toughest thing ever), or even listen to my parents rules. Then bam, you find yourself at 18 years old going to college, not under the supervision of your parents all the time. You have to make your own decisions, pay your own bills, buy your own gas, and (GASP) get a job. You find yourself missing the "care free" days. The days when the biggest decision you had to make was which Jonas Brother you were going to marry when you grew up (glad that one didn't come true), or what charm to add on your linking charm bracelet. Honestly I did this in elementary school, I was so excited to be  teenager, to be able to drive my own car, date, and hang out with my friends all the time. So, I was probably happy when I was a little kid just dreaming about the future, because that's just what you do when you are a kid. But as I got older I thought I would be happy when I reached those milestones in my life. I thought that once I got to these "destinations" that life would be a breeze, and that I would be happy for all my days and not have a worry in the world, haha I was SOOO wrong.

Let me take you back to last September. I was going to a tech college, and I was sooooo ready to be done, like super ready. I was sick of taking tests that measured how well I memorized information. I was sick of having to get up at (wait for it....) 6:30! And to make things worse, one of my best friends took a leave of absence from school, so I didn't have her to vent to and to hang out with every day. I thought everything would get better as soon as I got a full time job, as soon as I had a job all my problems would be solved, I thought that everything would be a breeze. Now let's look at this September, it's probably been one of my most stressful times of my life. I have all the things in my life that a year ago I thought would solve all my problems. A year ago I was worried about finding a job and finding a person who I liked aka a relationship. I thought that once I had those 2 things that life would go great. That I wouldn't have any worries in the world. Ha then the world freaking smacked me down this month. I have the things I have been wanting and praying so hard for, but a long with that comes trials. Trials of self doubt with work, that I am not enough even though I am trying my hardest. Trials of not enjoying where I am at in life. Instead I'm finding myself act more and more like adolescent Megan, wishing that I was married and had that family, wishing that I could just fast forward this part of my life to the pretty home with the white picket fence, a cute puppy, and freaking adorable kids, with one hot husband. But hey, I need to enjoy where I am at right now in my life. Once you are married you can never go back to the carefree days of dating. For now I am going to enjoy the present I am going to enjoy every "surprise" that comes up in my day to day life with work. I am going to enjoy being in an awesome relationship with a freaking awesome boyfriend. My time will come when I become a wife, my time will come when I meet my career goals, my time will come. But for now I am going to enjoy the present. I am going to enjoy every "imperfect" little thing that every day gives me.

So friends, enjoy your now. Because there is only going to be one day like today, and you will miss it when it's gone. So enjoy every imperfect moment, I know I will sure try to.

Keep on keeping on loves!