A Hot Mess | Remembering Your Worth
At the end of October, I found myself turning the ripe "old" age of 20, don't worry I know I am still a baby. But, seriously I thought so many things were going to happen when I turned 20 and that magically my life would be all put together. I'd be so confident with myself and I would finally lose the extra weight I was carrying, find the perfect job, and find a cute boy. Instead, I was genuinely depressed. I remember going into my room at night, crying underneath my covers so my family didn't know anything was up. I was seriously at one of the lowest points in my life thus far, and I was making myself miserable. But at this low point I found myself. A week later I had a BAD day, and I honestly don't even know why. But it was real sadness for me. Then one day I cracked in front of my brother. I was in my room having my little breakdown and my brother asked me to help him with the dishes. In my mind I was thinking, "I have to help him, so no one will think anything is up." And guess what happened? Megan had a little sob fest. My poor brother haha! But that happened to be the best thing for me. When I felt the most vulnerable, the most unworthy of God's love, the most useless my family led me back to Him, and that's where I re-found my worth. My parents ended up having a "come to Jesus" vent session with me where they listened, cried, and we literally came unto Christ together. That my friends is SO important! It's important to surround yourself with people who can remind you who to turn to, by turning to Him with you.
At the lowest point of my life, where I thought I was supposed to be living on top of the world by having the perfect job, body, and boy I found myself. Let's be real, I've always known who I was, I'm Megan. But I knew myself the way God knew me, and by being patient with myself each day I'm learning more of my true identity day by day. It's not easy at all! I find myself way to often complaining about what I'm not instead of looking at what I can do and how awesome I am. I am in no way perfect, and 90% of the time I am a hot mess. But I'm HIS daughter, I'm His soon to be masterpiece. But first, I need to have a few or a million bumps in the road. And, hey, that's okay! Think of how awesome each of us are going to be at the end of this journey.
So today instead of being down that I don't have the "perfect body." I'm choosing to be grateful. Grateful that I was given the chance to come to this Earth and gain a body, and all the cool things it can do. Plus, I totally rocked a workout today. I'm doing my best, and you better bet that I am going to love myself along the way. Instead of being bummed that I'm still single, which isn't even that big of a deal. I'm grateful that God is saving me for the right one.
Things always look so much better when you trust Him, remember Him, and follow him. It doesn't mean that you won't be sad, have a bad day, or plenty of bad days. In fact, it means the opposite. With Him you can get through those bad times, and it is so true. From my experience I've learned that after the storm when the burdens seem like way to much and nothing is going right, the blessings come. They really do! I've been so worried about finding a job for a while now and He heard me. And I'm starting my first "grown up" job next Monday, and I'm so stoked! He answers prayers, and He truly knows the desires of your heart. If you are having a hard time, remember Him. And if you need a friend to talk to, I'm always your girl for that!
Love you cuties, and remember who you are!