Decisions, Decisions

Do you ever have those days when crying seems like the only logical option, and you are stressed to the max? Yeah, that's me. I feel like all these forces are working against me nowadays, and it's hard. I'm here to admit it that my life is not perfect. I don't always have the happy face on. Sometimes I'm sad and confused with myself, and it's so hard.

Sometimes it's hard to realize that you are loved and that you are doing the best that you possibly can. I know lately I am just frustrated with everything that I do. It never seems to be good enough. I'm frustrated with school that it's not coming to me as easily as it did in high school. I'm frustrated that for one second in my life I can't be calm and not worry about others.

I just want the book with all the answers in. The book that tells me what to do, how to react, and most importantly what I should make of my life. Being a young adult is hard. It's hard having all these outsiders look in on you and tell you what you should be doing. Making the decision of what I want to be for the rest of my life is hard, and decisions that determine my future are even harder!!!

I want to find my zen. The place where I know I belong in this world, and in order to find that I first need to go through all these trials, I guess. Now's the time to rely on faith, faith in The Lord's plan. The fact of the matter is although I want my life to end up this perfect little picture. It won't look like the picture I envision it, instead it'll be a masterpiece created by Him. So maybe it's alright to be frustrated, maybe it's ok to feel burdened, because without feeling that way we couldn't find our way back to Him. If we had all the answers then we would have no one to turn to. Perhaps maybe that's why we have these hard times, so we can rely on God.

I don't know what I want to do with my life. I may not get the best grades or have the best body or hair, but I'm trying and at least that counts for something. Experiences and trials will change, and will be ever present in my life. One thing that will never change is the love the Savior and God has for me. I personally need to remember that, they are always ever present, and are just rooting for each one of us!

So, my friends, if you don't have the answers don't fret. None of us do, and I'm not absolutely sure we know what we want a 100% of the time (but if you do let me in on the secret.) Always remember that God is always there, ALWAYS. Live while you can, and do things that make you happy because they will matter the most throughout your life.

Thanks for venting with me!



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